Between Husband and Wife Gospel Perspectives on Marital Intimacy
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User Ratings and Reviews
2 Stars Remember, it’s a subjective opinion
You have to remember that this book, like all LDS books is simply the subjective view of the authors – not church doctrine. It covers what the authors want to cover, and their opinion is no more valid, or no more ‘doctrine’ than my opinion or your opinion. So take it for what it is, you can’t criticize it for what it doesn’t include as it is not the definitive instruction from the brethren.
If you read the book ‘And they were not ashamed’ by Laura M. Brotherson And They Were Not Ashamed: Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment – another LDS book on sexual relations, you will find views and advice that directly contradict that given in this book (eg on ’self touching’ during intimacy and on oral sex). Of course, Laura’s book is also a personal, subjective view but in my opinion (again personal) provides a much more frank and realistic insight into this important subject.
What’s important when writing a book like this is that the authors state completely and regularly that what they are writing is their view. There are too many church members (in MY view, Lamb and Brinley included) who express their personal views and interpretation as though it is doctrine. I personally think it’s unfortunate that Lamb and Brinley make a veiled reference to oral sex because this has clearly led to confusion. Whether or not the instruction in the letter they refer to is still applicable or not, the current church policy is that it is down to the couple to determine what is and isn’t appropriate and leaders do not in any way dictate this.
5 Stars Excellent Pre-Marriage Material
I am LDS and my bishop gave me this book before my marriage. I found the book to be an easy way to approach this serious subject before marriage with someone else who was may be shy to discuss intimate things openly. I specifically liked the section about the purpose of the honeymoon.
I think the people who complain that the book labels oral sex as unnatural and against LDS doctrine, are the LDS members who are guilty of it and don’t want to admit that their behavior is against church teachings.
1 Star Between Husband and Wife
Does little more than admit that a husband and wife should have sex. Still very conservative. Not much helpful information.
4 Stars Good book, but not doctrine
Notwithstanding the severe hatred that some of my fellow readers seem to harbor for this book, in truth it can be a very helpful and educational for those of us entering marriage that are “naive” to matters of sex. Before I get too far into it, I personally know Dr. Brinley and have taken a class at BYU entitled “Marriage Prep” which was fantastic. I do, however, fear that the stance of the book taken on certain topics was not completely accurate. However, I also never felt that topics such as female orgasms were portrayed as negatively as some would have you believe. In fact, during his class he was quite clear that satisfying your wife was just as important as your own pleasure. Unfortunately, the subject of “unnatural” sex is not discussed clearly, and I do believe the implied views are inaccurate because I’ve yet to hear clear guidance on the subject from actual Church leaders (at least not from this century). In fact, from what I’ve understood, the church specifically avoids answering these questions because, as the book says, it’s between Husbands and Wives.
In conclusion, don’t let the extreme negativism persuade you against reading this book if you really need help understanding yourself and the opposite sex. It was an excellent aid for me and my wife and I believe it encourages sex between couples much more than some critics would have you believe. Do remember, however, that this is NOT doctrine, and these are only the educated opinions of “professionals.”
4 Stars Inspiring and full of information
If you are looking for a book which frankly discusses human intimacy for those of faith who are seeking to figure out where the worldly ideas of it and God’s diverge, this is a great book to help you in that quest. It provides a perspective that is rare today.
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